Like this:

I was almost in a car accident today. I thought I was fine, but I had to swerve fast, and at the time, could feel my body tense up to fight it. Now, things hurt, from the right side of my neck, most of the right side of my back, and all my lower back. Sweet. 

Following is what I posted as a Craig’s List “Missed Connection.” I know, the chick who almost hit me will probably never see it, but it helped to get my rage out there somewhere (and because this blog is new, I didn’t first think of it…). I should have called the police and reported her for careless and imprudent driving, but I didn’t… Lesson learned. 

For now, I’m off to dull the pain with a glass of pinot grigio. Drive carefully.

 

To the chick who almost t-boned me today on 4^th Street at Bradley (I think it was Bradley. I was too busy avoiding being t-boned to look at the street signs.):

 

You: Tan Jeep Grand Cherokee with temporary plates, eastbound on Bradley. Me: Small green Nissan, southbound on 4^th, driving the speed limit, obeying all traffic laws.

 

I’m just going to go ahead and assume that you had stopped to 1.) make sure I was OK after swerving across the intersection to avoid getting run over by you, and 2.) thank me for being such an alert and careful driver. You’re welcome.

 

See, the thought crossed my mind, as you looked to your right and proceeded to floor it through the intersection (through which I had the right-of-way, as you had a stop sign and I did not), to allow you to hit me. I kind of need a new car, anyway, and since the accident would have 1.) been entirely your fault and 2.) totaled my small, fuel-efficient car, it would have been a great way to justify a new car in these tough economic times. However, I graciously saved you all of that trouble, my Jedi-like reflexes being the only reason you didn’t get into said accident. Unfortunately, you didn’t stop, so I can only assume that you were thanking me for saving you all of that trouble with the insurance company and whatnot. Oh, or lawsuit, if you don’t have insurance.

 

Now, because you seemed like you were in a hurry to get somewhere (you know, flooring it through an intersection without looking both ways through a two-way street and then speeding off after almost causing an accident), such a hurry that your obligations are far more important than my safety or the safety of other drivers, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt that there was some emergency that you really had to get to – for instance, your roommate had just called you and said the house was burning down and you had to go rescue your cat, or your boyfriend had lost a finger in a freak beer-pong accident and was being rushed to the emergency room, you know, something like that. Though, if you had hit me, you most certainly wouldn’t have made it to said hypothetical emergency in time.

 

I’m not sure if it crossed your mind, but you could have seriously injured someone. What if I had a passenger in the front seat? What if my 3-year-old niece had been in her car seat in the back?

 

I’m going to just assume that in addition to being thankful that I prevented this accident, you’re also sorry for putting yourself and your needs before the safety of other people on the road. Look both ways next time. 

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